airwavesonsunday

I thrusted the bottle I was holding into Jesse's chest.

"What??" I let slip out of my mouth, in shock.

Adam, Adam, Adam, Adam, Adam, Adam... His name kept pounding back and forth in my head. It was like someone had just punched me sqaure in the face and continued with the act again, and again, and again..

Adam Lazzara was the last name I ever wanted to hear, yet the only name I could bare to hear all in the same instant.

 

When I was 15, my dad got a new job, forcing my family to move to New York to accomodate. It certainly wasn't easy by any means. I left every single one of my good friends to go to a place I had never been to, where I would have but one friend for a year. Jesse. The year I turned 16 was the year this all started.

Jesse and I had been dating for roughly nine months when I first met Adam. He was great. Him, Jesse, and I would get into cool little music conversations-debates even-about who was the better punk band, who had sold out, etc. We talked about everything. Music, obviously, ridiculous things our other friends said, how if I ever lost a bet with Jesse I had to get "Brand New" tattooed, how much I loved teasing Jesse over being in love with The Smiths, Adam's obsession with Ari Katz..

Adam and I had our first kiss on the wooden floor of his bedroom. We had been having one of our musically heated debates.

"Fugazi all the way," I had said.

"Yeah, they're one of my favorites. But nothing beats Lifetime. Nothing."

I loved how we were comparing two totally different bands from two different decades.

"Oh? Is that so?"

"There is one thing.."

As soon as his lips had touched mine, I almost felt releaved. I had developed quite the crush on him over the past month. I was glad the feeling was mutual, but I felt extremely unfaithful to Jesse. Not that we were that serious, at least I thought.

The following weeks were very awkward between the two of us. Every time we saw each other, one of us would get caught staring at the other and we would both look away in embarassment, and then smile. If Jesse happened to be around at the time, he would always ask us what our problem was. We never answered him, but acted as if nothing had happened.

After a month and a half of this, I couldn't take it any longer. I broke it off with Jesse. I remember this night so vividly because as soon as I had broken up with him, I met Adam behind the bleachers at school. We kept our relationship a good secret until Jesse ran into us on his way back from work and saw us holding hands. Very shortly after this, Jesse officialy formed Brand New, while Adam had been working with Taking Back Sunday for a year or so. Both bands were incredible to watch and I was so proud of both of them. By the time we were graduated, both were touring together.

Adam and I remained together and Jesse remained our friend. Adam had been so sweet to me those past few years. We rarely did anything apart from each other. Now after four years of dating, both of us just having turned 20, things were starting to get serious between him and I. A soft kiss from Adam at this point almost meant, "I love you," though neither of us ever said it. I wasn't sure that either of us actually even knew if we felt that strongly for each other.

When I was 18, I found God. I began going to youth group and became heavily involved with my church. 18 was also the age that Adam had discovered marijuana. I had learned from Jesse and was very upset about it for awhile before I said anything. The only thing, at the time, I knew I could do was to convince Adam to go to youth group with me. Everything seemed to be fine after this, until one night. One horrible night.

It was right before the show. Everything was normal, but it would only be a matter of seconds before things went array.

John Nolan came barging out of the green room, Jesse next to him, who looked really upset. John just looked utterly furious.

"Where is he? Where is that-" He groaned as he seemed to hear who he was looking for.

Adam came stumbling across the room. He looked really bad. When he saw Jesse, he laughed.

"How could you? First the one I lo-.. You steal Jordan away from me and now this? ..I hate you." Jesse screamed. He started to run towards Adam, but John held him back.

John, without hesitation, ran up to Adam and punched him three good times.

"John! What are you doing?!" I yelled.

"Putting him in his place."

Just as he was about to swing again as Adam lay on the ground, I pulled John's arm back and shoved him off of Adam. Adam's face looked absolutely terrible. Blood covered his nose and dripped onto his teeth. As I bent down to notice this, Adam pulled me to his face and forced his lips against mine. I could taste his blood on my lips and I nearly got sick.

"You taste like sugar," was all he said.

I pushed against his chest to free myself from his kiss. I knew Adam was messed up beyond belief. This couldn't have just been pot, or he had smoked a lot of it.

I pulled him up and he staggered. "What have you done, Adam?"

"He slept with my sister! And then proceeded to have sex with her again just a few hours ago, on Jesse's bed!" I heard John very angrily yell.

I took a few steps back. This one hurt everyone. John's sister, Michelle, had been dating Jesse for the past two years. They were doing quite well, too.

"Adam.. I-I-i-... is this true? I managed to ask.

"Yep," he said as he made weird shapes with his hands.

I began to cry. Sobbing, I said, "Why? How could you do something like that to me..us?"

"Bree Ann, you simply don't put out my dear," he replied as he came close to me, smirking. I had no clue why he was referring to me as "Bree Ann." I don't think I had ever been angrier in my life. I then punched him in the face, where he very quickly fell down. He began to laugh hysterically.

"Adam Lazzara, I never want to see you again." I left, as did John. That night the show was cancelled.

That was the last night I saw Adam Lazzara.

Shortly after, Brand New released Your Favorite Weapon, with Tell All Your Friends coming out a few months later. I would only imagine that most of the songs on YFW are directed towards me.

Do you still consider me? Consider me, the boy you laughed with or you learned to live without.
And I'm sick of your tatooes, and they way you always criticize The Smiths. And Morrisey. And I know that you're a sucker for anything acoustic.

("Seventy Times 7" can only be about that horrible night. Every time Jesse sings it, I want to die.)

I never payed much attention to anything on TAYF, just because I couldn't bare to have to listen to Adam's voice.

Two years ago, Jesse and I finally got over our differences and eventually became a couple again.

I hadn't spoken to Adam in seven years. I had to go on tour with Jesse-it never failed that when he was on tour, at least once, he would have a huge asthma attack that only I knew how to help him out of. I couldn't stay back, even I absolutely wanted to. Everything just made so much more sense, financially, when I went with him. I also dealt with all of their merch. I didn't have the slightest clue what I was going to do.

 

*Ari Katz is the lead singer of Lifetime.
Obviously, none of the "horrible night" part is in any way factual. Just making sure I clear that up.
Thanks for your eyes, for reading this I mean. :)

The way I so cleverly titled my little story... You can't have an ending without a beginning, just like you can't have an effect without a cause. This one's about a boy...

 

"Oh yeah, that'll be fine."

I had just gotten off the phone with my boss, more properly known as the principal. You see, my work was primarily centered around a high school setting. I wasn't exactly a teacher-I was more of an instructor. The class was somewhat of an extra cirricular one. Students had to sign up and be willing to stay after school to participate. I "instructed" after the school hours, which was wonderful. I got to work on my music during the hours I wasn't at work. Recently, I had been sitting in front of my piano, nearly incappable of composing anything. I had a void in my mind I needed to fill...it just wasn't happening.

Going to work each day was not something I dreaded. In fact, it was the complete opposite. I had the pleasure of knowing that I was filling a few kids' minds full of the jazz greats. Count Basie. Ella Fitzgerald. You name it, they heard and learned about it. Music was, and remains, my passion. But let's not forget my boyfriend at the time. I was pretty passionate about him, too.

Jesse was an amazing guy. He did everything he could for me. We connected, easily, on our love for music, him being in a band and all.

We had been dating for almost two years. To say that we got to that point slowly would be absolutely wrong. We had dated several years ago, but boy, was that a big mess... There are few things I'll never be proud of, but our relationship, and even the first time, was only held up, I believe, merely out of determination. A sheer dedication that neither of us had any right to give and receive from each other. Rushing.. that's how this whole thing had gone from the get-go. But once you get there...you kind of get there. Our relationship wasn't holding entirely steady. However, I didn't want to leave him. I couldn't leave him. Like I said, I was passionate about him...really passionate about him...in the beginning of this whole mess.

After hanging up the phone, I walked around the house a bit. Jesse and I lived together in his small home. It wasn't too tiny, nor too large. It was just the right size. As I casually walked throughout our homey place of residence, I finally decided upon the bench of the piano, hoping something could come out of me. After a few minutes of achieving nothing, I went to the bedrooom and layed down.

I reached over to the bedside table and grabbed what looked like some of Jesse's lyrics. I had always admired the delicate way in which he put his words together. There was always a certain heartfelt feeling to them. But these lyrics.. they began to put me somewhere else.

Ever since I was young your word is the word that always won.
Worry and wake the ones you love.
A phone call I'd rather not receive.
Please use my body while I sleep.
My lungs are fresh and yours to keep,
Kept clean and they will let you breathe.

Is this the way a toy feels when its batteries run dry?
I am the watch you always wear but you forget to wind.

Nobody plans to be half a world away at times like these,
so I sat alone and waited out the night.
The best part of what has happened was the part I must have missed.
So I'm asking you to shine it on and stick around.
I'm not writing my goodbyes.

I submit no excuse.
If this is what I have to do I owe you every day I wake.
If I could I would shrink myself and sink through your skin to your blood cells
and remove whatever makes you hurt but I am too weak to be your cure.

Is this the way a toy feels when its batteries run dry?
I am the watch you always wear but you forget to wind.

Nobody plans to be half a world away at times like these,
so I sat alone and waited out the night.
The best part of what has happened was the part I must have missed.
So I'm asking you to shine it on and stick around.
I'm not writing my goodbyes.

I'm not letting you check out.
You will beat this starting now and you will always be around.
I'm there to monitor your breathing
I will watch you while you're sleeping.
I will keep you safe and sound.
Does anybody remember back when you were very young.
Did you ever think that you would be this blessed?

Nobody plans to be half a world away at times like these,
so I sat alone and waited out the night.
The best part of what has happened was the part I must have missed.
So I'm asking you to shine it on and stick around.
I'm not writing my goodbyes.

Something about them made me feel sympathetic, but at the same time worried.
I quickly brushed this feeling off, just wishing Jesse would get home soon. I really had no clue when he would be back, but I was anxious. He always made my day better, even if we weren't at the best of times.

Within the next half hour, Jesse came home. He seemed especially unhappy. He soon found me and sat down next to me. I put his papers down and smiled, him smiling back. He turned his body and crawled on top of me, his knees at my hips. He pushed his forehead against mine and lightly kissed my lips. I was a little confused by this movement. He had just come home, seemingly angry, and now we were here? This is kind of how Jesse was, though. Every time he got mad, he would just want to makeout. I never understood it. Any other time he was feeling any type of emotion, he would just sit in front of the TV and write. It was only when he was extremely angry that he had wanted to be this close to me. He was such a sensitive guy, but I never intentionally toyed with him. Instead, I simply made way for sympathy and hoped for the best.

"Well hello..." I said.

He smiled, but this smiled immedietly evaporated once he realized what I had just gotten done reading.

"What were you just reading?"

"Oh, some of your lyrics, I would assume. They were just laying out and you know how much I love your lyrics."

"You read all of it?"

"Yeah. What's the big fuss? They were great. A little different than your others, but nonetheless great."

"Jordan, you shouldn't have read those." This was a little weird.

"Why?"

"I just don't think you should have read them, that's all." He moved something obviously bothering his eyebrow and sat up, looking frustrated as ever.

He messed around with his fingers for awhile, sighed heavily, and walked into the kitchen, where he grabbed two beers. Coming back towards me, he handed one to me and sat back down on the bed.

"Haha, Jesse, you know I don't drink."

"Trust me. You're gonna wanna start," he said, angrily laughing. This statement scared me, even coming from Jesse.

"Why do you say that?"

He paused a moment and sighed once more, before taking a drink.

"I want to gouge my eyes out right now, Jordan." Now he was really starting to worry me.

"What? What's going on?"

"You wouldn't believe me if I told you."

"Whatever this is, you can tell me. If you're in some kind of trouble, I'll help you out." I paused. "If you're having some kind of emotional issue, I'll be here for you."

"No, no.. it has nothing to do-" He cut himself off.

"Well.. not like-" He trailed off. He waited a second before speaking again, and took another drink.

"Jordan.. I'm touring with Taking Back Sunday," he said, as if it hurt too much to say. And I know it did. It hurt too much to even hear.

"I'm touring with Adam."

 

*I'm oh so thankful to anyone and everyone who actually reads this. I hope I have the grand pleasure of reading yours!
Lyrics taken from "Guernica" by Brand New.

 

I thank you grandly for taking this time out of your life to read this journal. It really means a lot. I'm smiling on the inside. :)

Allow me to progress you through this:
Up until I was about nine years of age, I attended private school. I have now learned that this was to keep my sisters and I in a safe school because our surroundings weren't of the highest caliber. I cannot thank my mother enough for caring about me and the effect this school had on me. When I was attending, it never really occured to me that there were people out there who didn't believe in God. I now know differently.

In 4th grade, I had to say 'goodybe' to all my friends and move in with my grandmother, for my parents were getting a divorce. Don't worry; the split hasn't had very much of an effect on me at all. In fact, I'm glad it happened because I wouldn't be where I am today, and I don't think I could live without not being here. Anyways.. I moved out into a very small town (I can't even think of an example town to compare it to). The school system wasn't the greatest, but it sufficed; it was enough to get by. I stayed there for roughly four years, and then moved again, after my mother finished college and couldn't bare living where we were. I moved to my current location in Franklin, and just last year, changed houses to a tiny, tiny town just outside of Franklin called Needham, but I still go to the same school.

During all this time, I lost touch. I lost touch with my friends way back in private school (I even still barely talk to them). I lost touch with my Dad. I lost touch with my older sister, who was basically my best friend. I lost touch with several people whom I could have treated better. I lost touch with myself and who I thought I was/was becoming. I lost touch with everything. And most importantly, I lost touch with God. I lost touch with the one being that is more important to me than most anything/everything.

I remember over the course of these years saying, "Oh yeah. I believe in God. I used to go to private school," and never saying another word about it. Fine, okay, I said I believed in God. I thought I meant it, because I did. But there's so much more to it. I basically kept my 'faith' a secret. I mean, my friends knew, sure, but we never talked about it and half of them weren't sure or didn't believe at all. I wasn't going to church, I wasn't reading Scripture. I wasn't even praying. I wasn't really believing. I was just assuming that I would be fine the way I was, slacking on God.

Just about a month ago, one of my good friends asked me if I would like to go to youth group at a local, Christian music venue. At first I naturally hesitated. I had never been to a youth group in my life. I had no expectations and could only assume the worse. 'At church they shove stuff down your throat. Will it be the same here? Surely it won't be..' I put it off for a day or two and finally decided I should go. I made this decision because I had been declining any and almost every invitation I got to go anywhere or do anything. I needed a change. I didn't want to miss out on life's opportunities. In the back of my mind, I wandered if this was the change I needed-getting back in touch with Jesus. And it was.

I arrived at the venue (I had been there a couple times. I love that place) and Emily (the friend) was already there. I had called her on my way there and she told me she was already outside and waiting. She was nervous, too. She had some expectations because she attends a few youth groups at various churches, but it was still something new. She had also never been to the Gear (the venue). I lead us in after she pushed me and insisted I go first due to her lack of confidence. We walked in and saw about five people sitting in a circle, comfortable, content, and regular people of the same age as me. We sat down and hung out for awhile, and then gave testimonies. (For those of you who don't know, testimonies are, say, reasons you have to believe in God because of your witnessing, or just simply talking about what's going on in your life and how God can help you.) In other words, this youth group turned out to be one of the best decisions I have ever made in my entire life.

I've only attended about three or four of them, but I'm already seeing a major difference in my life. I've started praying regularly and I actually know what to pray for now. Just a few weeks ago, I began reading the Bible for the first time. I consider Scripture to be a giant book of inspiration. The Bible is my guide to life. I still do not attend church, but I go to every youth group on Wednesday that I can, or any party they throw. I've also quit hiding my belief. I talk to various people as often as I can and encourage them to try going to youth group with me, or to pray and read Scripture. It's scary, sometimes, doing this, but it's totally worth it. Most people are very willing to listen. The scariest part, however, is having Atheist or Agnostic friends who either don't really want to lend an ear or aren't sure if they should believe you. Building faith in God builds faith in yourself. I'm building a house for myself with God.

So what I'm trying to do here is not to totally change you over from whatever your religion may or may not be. Of course I would never pressure you into such a huge feat. All I am trying to do is spread my love of God. You don't have to accept it if you wish, but I will always continue to spread it, and I will pray for you. I'll pray for anyone who needs it. I pray for even the people I don't get along with so well. I pray for everybody.

Jesus loves every single one of us. He would never deny that. He loves us more than we can ever begin to imagine. It feels great, knowing someone loves you with everything in them. So reader, I'm telling you this now: Jesus loves you! He will never betray you. He will put his faith in you, if you put your faith in him. He will love you unconditionally and do whatever it takes to help you through your everyday situations. He will do for you things no one else could ever do, if you do the same for him. If you put your faith in God, you will have eternal life, and have the honor of standing beside Him in heaven. God is great, and all he asks is that we love Him and love one another as we would love ourselves. With God, anything is possible.
Dear reader, God loves you, Martina loves you.

Yet to all who received him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God-children born not of natural descent, nor of human decision or a husband's will, but born of God. -John 1:12-13

From the fullness of his grace we have all received one blessing after another. -John 1:16

For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. -John 3:16

But whoever lives by the truth comes into the light, so that it may be seen plainly that what he has done has been done through God. -John 3:21

The man who has accepted it has certified that God is truthful. -John 3:33

Everyone who drinks this water will be thirsty again, but whoever drinks the water I give him will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give him will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life. -John 4:13-14

He told me everything I ever did. -John 4:39

I tell you the truth, whoever hears my word and believes him who sent me has eternal life and will not be condemned; he has crossed over from death to life. -John 5:24

Do not work for food that spoils, but for food that endure to eternal life, which the Son of Man will give you. On him God the Father has placed his seal of approval. -John 6:26

I am the bread of life. He who comes to me will never go hungry, and he who believes in me will never be thirsty. -John 6:35

For my Father's will is that everyone who looks to the Son and believes in him sthall have eternal life, and I will raisie him up at the last day. -John 6:40

This is bread is my flesh, which I will give for the life of the world. -John 6:51

The Spirit gives life; the flesh counts for nothing. The words I have spoken to you are spirit and they are life. -John 6:63

He who speaks on his own does so to gain honor for himself, but he who works for the honor of the one who sent him is a man of truth; there is nothing false about him. -John 7:18

"Whoever believes in me, as the Scripture has said, streams of living water will flow from within him." By this he meant the Spirit, whom those who believed in him were later to receive. -John 8:38

I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life. -John 8:12

But he who sent me is reliable, and what I have heard from him I tell the world. -John 8:26

The one who sent me is with me; he has not left me alone. -John 8:31

He who belongs to God hears what God says. -John 8:47

Give glory to God. -John 9:24

I tell you the truth, I am the gate for the sheep. -John 10:7

I am the gate; whoever enters through me will be saved. He will come in and go out, and find pasture. -John 10:9

I am the good shepherd. The good sheperd lays down his life for the sheep. -John 10:11

I am the good shepherd; I know my sheep and my sheep know me. -John 10:14

I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in me will live, even though he dies. -John 11:25

The man who loves his life will lose it, while the man who hates his life in this world will keep it for eternal life. -John 12:25

This voice was for you benefit, not mine. -John 12:30

I did not come to judge the world, but to save it. -John 12:47

Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. -John 12:34

I will lay down my life for you. -John 13:37

Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God. -John 14:1

I tell you the trugh, anyone who has faith in me will do what I have been doing. He will do even greater things than these. John 14:12

Remain in me, and I will remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself. -John 15:1

I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete. -John 15:11

I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you. -John 15:15

If the world hates you, keep in mind that it hated me first. -15:18

No one will take away your joy. -John 16:22

Ask and you will receive, and your joy will be complete. -John 16:24

In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world. -John 16:33

Glory has come to me through them. -John 17:7

For them I sanctify myself, that they too may be truly sanctified. -John 17:19

Blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed. -John 20:29

 

If you are interested in reading the Bible and don't know where to start, or have any question at all, don't feel shame in asking me! I will be much more than welcome to guide you in the right direction.

I'm a "four-on-the-floor" Florida coastline
Wavered military anti-depressants
Find me. Stop me.

Hey delicate,
let's jot this out like a dying breed
The 'sigh and breathe,' subtle but elite
Pouncing on your door, falling across the floor
Teach us humility and I'll breathe through your window

A fragmented kindness runs along silly faults.
But you know...
It's not like I meant to.
It's not like I meant to.
(I never really...)
It's not like I meant to.
(...thought things out, thought this out)
I never meant to.

on smooth wings of agility that dignify morality
fermented words across a frail, ill beginning
don your paper. don your page.
and just so "yet!" to make it yours

and who do you blame?
This is killing me too

my tips to run along that spine
as if finger to the trigger
temper, temper: guide us through by the palms
i'm gutting out but... it's not like i meant to

So I say "designer treat" as your stereo
bleeds out of what came and what could've been
You send it like a letter with red
ambition of and on something like "it's hard to
find a friend"
(when it's most likely...)
You'll need to seal and send this one out
Now watch...

Please keep your hands
(don't touch me)
away from me (you made it too)

Please keep your hands
(don't touch me)
away from me (you made it too)

There was a fine line I drew before it became
a vertically indestructable ten lines
From my head I blew nothing and I
wished I'd substituted those blues in for whites
An oxygen stream of this caliber stands to:one, but differs from a night alone
(traded in those blues for whites)

Please keep your hands
(don't touch me)
away from me (you made it too)

Please keep your hands
(don't touch me)
away from me (you made it too)

There's nothing like a day or two where
paralysis drops my name.

What do you do when you're working with Katherine and your stepbrother?
When working with Katherine, we play songs she knows; she sings, I play guitar. We also talk about influences. When I work with my stepbrother, we work on learning a song, composing a song, or just learning basic things that will improve our playing together. Sometimes he plays bass, I play guitar, and vice versa.

Why do you find certain bands simple?
I think that simplicity is truly the key to music, when it comes to me. I love hearing a song that is completely simple and thinking, "They can do that?" It's inspired me in countless ways. I don't know that any band is entirely simple, but I think some bands have music that can speak for itself in terms of simplicity.

What is the name of the street your father lives on?
Brookview. [Band name being Breaking The View]

What instruments do you play?
Guitar, piano, trumpet, French horn, and a little bass.

What inspires you the most?
Just everyday things, events, and people. People are really, really inspiring. The way people act, and react to situations is interesting. Almost everything I write is for someone, and that someone is, most of the time, me. There's several musicians (David Bazan, Adam Lazzara, Daryl Palumbo, Kurt Cobain, Fred Mascherino, Eddie Reyes) who have inspired me not only as a musician, but as a person.

What is your definition of alternative music?
Well, I know that "alternative" was a term around in the 90s, which is probably my favorite era for music. I'm not really sure of the meaning, though. I think it was used to say that rock was taking an alternative path, but rock has taken so many different paths that it's kind of redundant to use it over and over.

What is your definition of emo music?
Okay... here's what I know:  Emo was a term used to describe music when musicians quit singing about politics and started singing about relationships. [Go watch "Bastards Of Young"] Emo means "emotionally hardcore." But almost every artist writes about relationships anymore, so it's a term I would never use to describe music, or a person, for that matter. Calling someone "emo" is like calling them a musical genre. I'm not sure why it's become a culture...

How do you manage your time between school, music, friends, and everything else?
Within the past few months, it's really been hard. But I'm learning to manage. I kind of schedule it all: homework first, music, and then everything else. It tends to all just bunch together, though.

What are some of your favorite bands and why?
My top 5 favorite bands are Taking Back Sunday, Brand New, Glassjaw, Nirvana, and Pedro the Lion/David Bazan. They all make music that has inspired me to be who I am today, and all in their own ways. Every musician that makes up each of these bands has talent that I aspire to have.

Right now, if you could have anything in the world, what would it be?
A gig.

Why do you listen to the music that you listen to?
I listen to the music I listen to because it inspires me. I know I talk about inspiration all the time, but it means the world to me. You can't create without some sort of inspiration. Every genre offers something worth being inspired by. Music is sound. Sound is everything that inspires me. If I hear a sound I really like, I'll stick with that sound.

What is your definition of simple music?
Simple music is music that is based around simplicity. Simplicity is the key to writing music, to me. From a musician's point of view, simple music would be basic guitar chords, basic drum beats, a bass line, and lyrics.

Why does some music seem simple to you?
I'm not entirely sure myself. I think one main thing has to do with the guitars. Guitars can add so much to a band, but most guitarists seem to think that they have to bring extra to the table, when in fact, they can actually back off. Eccentric music usually consists of multiple, harmonic guitar sounds. Simple music is just easier to hear all at once.

Is there anyone who isn't famous that you look up to?
Oh yes. David Bazan. He's very much unknown. He was previously in a band that was basically a solo project called Pedro the Lion, which is how I found out about him. He's also in another band that consists of synthesizers, drums, and vocals. He's the reason I believe a lot of what I believe.

What kind of songs do you write most?
I write almost everything on guitar. I've written bits and pieces on piano. And I write "potential lyrics" completely random and separate. It's hard when you're writing sometimes because you have this comfort zone that you don't even know really exists, and it's hard to break out of it. I've been having trouble trying to create the sounds I want to hear. But I usually kind of hear something in my head, usually from listening to another song and thinking, "I want to write a song like that." So I fish around for the sound I want, and sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't.

Do you need anyone to sing for your band?
haha, I need a singer (preferably two), another guitarist, a drummer, and a bassist.

What positions in your "unofficial" band do you need to have filled?
Vocalists, drummer, bassist, guitarist.

Why is your band unofficial?
Because I often wonder if my stepbrother is going to work out in the band. Him and I are on different levels when it comes to music, and it can be hard to relate with each other. It's really unofficial because I don't really have one yet.

How does music relate to you, and how do you think music relates to other people?
Music is something I hear, and I can relate to sounds. If I hear something, I can learn from it, or be inspired by it. Sometimes those go hand-in-hand. Music has been the only thing I can REALLY relate to, so I relate myself to it. As for other people, on a daily basis, they might use it to cope with emotions, or just have a good time, or even to pass time. Some people use it for personal reasons, others use it for entertainment.

What made you want to have a career involved with music?
I thought about becoming a musician in 6th grade, after I found that I really enjoyed playing my trumpet. When I picked up my guitar in 7th grade, I absolutely wanted to be a musician. As of this year, I've learned so much about music that any career within the field is a blessing for me.

What did you mean when you said "I guess I wanted to relate myself to music; a trade for a trade?" [See previous interview]
This is all coming from my head, and I'm an intricate person...
Music has always been there; I relate to it. I "contribute" to music, so I'm letting it relate to me. So it's like a cycle of trading that never ends.

What do you mean when you say that you "contribute" to music?
I couldn't think of another way to put it. When I say I'm "contributing" to music, I really mean that I'm creating music. I'm not actually "contributing" to a genre, or the music world. I'm just contributing to music, personally.

What did you want when you first picked up a guitar?
When almost everyone picks up a guitar, they want to be a rock star. Naturally, that came. But after awhile, I realized that fame isn't all that important to me. Winning a Grammy for "Album of the Year" isn't a priority right now. I want to make music for others to listen to and get the same feeling I do about it. If it inspires them, I'm accomplished.

If the band doesn't work out, then what kind of music-related career do you want?
I've thought hard about this. I really, really want a band to work out. But it might not. I've thought about a studio musician or music teacher.

What does a studio musician do?
A studio musician is a musician that is always in the studio, providing the instruments that they can play for a particular song/band/artist. For example:  If Twisted Sister needed a cowbell ("We're Not Gonna Take It" has cowbell) for a song, a studio musician that plays cowbell will play on that song, and get credited for it, usually in the liner notes of the album booklet.

What is the best book that you have read that talks about music?
I read this magazine called "Alternative Press" that is always my favorite music-related text to read. But for a book, I think it would be "Heavier Than Heaven," which is a book about Kurt Cobain. It was really fascinating and got into the many details of his life.

Do you get along with your fellow band members?
My stepbrother:  Sometimes. We've grown so apart with musical influences within musical influences (if that makes any sense) that it's hard to relate to him. Katherine:  We get along very well.

What are your plans for once you're out of school?
I've thought long and hard about that. Naturally, I want to go to college. But it would be amazing if my band took off right out of high school, although that definitely isn't guaranteed. I guess you just have to have lots of faith in people to like your music, in that sense.

Where did you learn to play all those instruments?
Guitar:  I started out with lessons from my grandpa, and then from GuitarWorks, then on my own, and now at the Guitar Shop in Franklin. Piano:  I started in 3rd grade, moved and had to stop, and am now receiving them from a man named Reuben at Bongo Boy Music Center. Trumpet:  Mr. Holland from Knighstown Intermediate School, Mr. Tewell at Custer Baker, and now Mr. Kosch here, as well as myself. French horn:  Mr. Kosch asked me if I wanted to play it, I said "yes," his wife started me out, and now he's helping me, but I'm mostly on my own. Bass:  Playing guitar, I naturally am able to play bass. It's not entirely hard, until you get into to techniques like finger picking and slapping.

What makes a band a true band?
In my opinion, it's not the fans; it's not how many records you sell; it's not about having a number one hit. It's having the will and determination to do what you do; having the faith in your fans; sticking with what you know, and never conforming to meet the needs of the "scene" that you think you're in. A true band is a group of musicians that are true to themselves, and once they can be that way, they can be true to everyone else. But you can never get cocky. Once you get there, it's hard to be true to anyone else.

List the top 12 songs that cheer you up:

1. One-Eighty By Summer-Taking Back Sunday

2. A Decade Under The Influence-Taking Back Sunday

3. Happiness Is All The Rage-The Promise Ring

4. Waste of Paint-Bright Eyes

5. God Bless-David Bazan

6. Piano-Glassjaw

7. Major Cities-Headphones

8. Sugar, We're Going Down-Fall Out Boy

9. Mix Tape-Brand New

10. There's A Class For This-Cute Is What We Aim For

11. Lithium-Nirvana

12. Seed-The Academy Is...

 

As far as tagging goes: If you read it, you can be tagged!

Eh, maybe. But only for a friend in Journalism. Questions about music? I can't deny those:

What inspired you to write music?
I found that music was and is the only thing that I can really relate to. So I guess I wanted to relate myself to music; a trade for a trade.

What is your favorite genre of music?
I listen to rock every day. But I enjoy and really appreciate all genres. There are so many idealistic joys to be found in every genre.

Who is your favorite band?
Taking Back Sunday, by far.

Who is your favorite musician?
Oh, man... that's a question with too many answers. A few that I'm really inspired by are Jesse Lacey, Adam Lazzara, Kurt Cobain, and David Bazan.

What is the name of your band?
Unofficial band, of course. Breaking The View.

Why is that the name of your band?
That's actually a little personal, but part of it inadvertently came from the street my dad lives on.

Who is in your band?
Again, I don't "Officially" have a band. I work a lot with my stepbrother. I've been working with a girl named Katherine most recently.

Who is the most recent addition to your band?
Unofficially: Katherine Roush.

What kind of music do you write?
Mostly more rock/acoustic stuff. But I like to interpret hints of jazz, blues, and country as a subtlety.

What are your plans for the band?
Well, first I have to acquire a band, but I just want to make music.

What are your plans for your future?
There are a lot of things I want. I want my sister to get through school. I want my older sister to get her life back on track. I want to have a better relationship with my dad. But you know what I want most? I want to make music for the rest of my life.

Do you enjoy being in a band?
I really enjoy making music with others. It's probably the thing that keeps me sane most days.

What inspired you to start a band?
I guess seeing my heroes doing something that I loved inspired me. When I first picked up a guitar, I wanted this more than anything.

Do you have a backup plan in case the band doesn't work out?
It's funny that you ask that because my mom talks with me about the same thing all the time. I know that I'm going to be working in the music field, I'm sure of it. If a band doesn't work out... I'll find something else music related, I guess.

 

Also, a song for a friend(her choice of title):

Katie Is Awesome

...and if it's the last thing I don't do
I'll write this number just for you
I'll even hide the meaning from myself
We'll be the pages in books knocked off the shelves

We're crazy, we get crazy, we go...
These lines will only go to show
Promised not to talk to me from the backseat
...at the edge of the stage in disbelief

Cliche's are gone and we own the tiles
I wanna stay like this for awhile
For forever, friends will say catch phrases
Photos will always remember your famous faces

We're back from the sevens
Conversing mornings will be here 'till the end
"Hope" is to feel better, The Academy Is... shirts
For whom you hate, even if your teeth hurt
                        (she'll hear this)

(S-slur me something right, just for tonight)
Someone's always winning, even if you take
...And I may be quoting this all wrong, but...
           ...It's what Katie said

One, two, three, four  One, two, three, four

Find this on your radio
I hope this goes to show
How much I need you now
So I've made it on your mixed tape
I'm mixed up
Fix me up
If I were to take yours then...
Then we'd still be three in advance
(You shine thru too much
  I think I should rethink my structure)
I'm trying to make these the best I could for you
Are you even listening?
I hope you know it's all coming to this...
It all came through...
The song remains golden
The song remains golden (Regrets come and go
The song remains golden   we come and go)
This song remains golden
Turn-pike parts meet the baby

C'mon, take your best shot
(Reason and integrity...)
For a fine friend on today
Make this your business

I am the poet
I write for you in foreign subtleties
(Pens mean anything to me and you know it)
....is
This is my last call...
I save the day

I am the host
I come in unkind ways and phrases
(Such an idealistic way to pray...)
And we pray...
This is my last call...
I save the day

Don't you know that four corners see sympathy?
A fraction, an obsession...a deathbed, a familiar face
(A hypocritcal lie)
A familiar face

I woke up from a dream:
7 weeks into the sea
For to capsulize a feeling
That didn't mean anything

And the captain, he said
He said, "10 yards too fast!"
And so we found a new origin
Didn't know it'd be the last

The pace, the pace
Slow down
And see a new face
On this beautiful day
Oh, on this beautiful day

This is where our thoughts go
Waves come at you somehow
Until we lapse under the coast
And then you say to me...

So...since I was on my block scheduling today (90 minute periods, odds on Tuesdays, evens on Wednesdays) in Music Appreciation/History class and we had nothing to do because our keyboards are not fully hooked-up yet, we got to surf the web. Naturally, I searched for music. It wasn't easy. There's only, like, two sites you can watch music videos on. Yeah. Anyways, I ended up, as nearly always, looking up....you guessed it, Taking Back Sunday. I did so, looking for new information that I don't already know about them. What I found nearly gave me a heartattack. I'm probably slow in finding this out, but: 1) Victory Records is set to release a CD of Taking Back Sunday b-sides and songs they recorded while on Victory Records on October 30th, titled "Notes From The Past." 2)The band has said that they will have a new album out sometime in 2008. 3)They are currently working on Louder Now: Part Two. Yeah, I basically hyperventilated when I read about all of that. Seriously. Oh yes, and I found this quote: Shaun Cooper asked his friend John Nolan, "Do you want to commit career suicide?" "Yes, as a matter of fact, I do," John replied.
April 2003
I found it oddly funny. Anyways.... enjoy. :D

I had to write a limerick poem for Language Arts class and this is what I came up with:   There once was a man in a band                                                                                    He sang, and did tricks with his hand He swung his mic 'round Knocked one to the ground Now being sorry as he can   It's quite obviously about when Adam swung his mic right into Matt's face. I just love to incorporate Taking Back Sunday into my school life.